With a forthcoming greatest-hits album, several movies, a second American Idol season on deck, and an unprecedented licensing deal with Kohl’s in the works, Jennifer Lopez was already white-hot. Then the news broke that she and her husband of seven years, Marc Anthony, had split, LISA ROBINSON learns what’s gone right and wrong in the life of this volatile and vulnerable superstar
Jenny Back on the Block
July 15, 2011: The following was released to the media via e-mail in both English and Spanish: “JENNIFER LOPEZ & MARC ANTHONY STATEMENT: We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”
June 22, 2011, Los Angeles: Jennifer Lopez greets me outside her large white house in a gated community in Hidden Hills – about an hour away from the Beverly Hills Hotel. She’s furiously texting on her white Black Berry Torch. She’s wearing a black, beige, white, and jade Diane von Furstenberg romper, and her hair is pulled off her face into a bun. On her feet are black, rhinestone-studded flip-flops, but the diamonds that adorn her ears and fingers are real. Inside the house, white orchids, roses, and scented candles are everywhere. In the grayish-blue kitchen, her mother, Guadalupe (“Lupe”) Lopez, is feed Jennifer and Marc’s three-year-old twins, Emme and Max. The children sit in matching high chairs with French fries and cut-up pieces of steak on their plates. Max says “Excuse me” every time he wants to talk. With her hair pulled up into a little bun, Emme looks like a mini-Jennifer. She says “Mama” every time she tries to get her mother’s attention, and with an intense stare, her eyes follow Jennifer around the room. Jennifer’s mother (a former schoolteacher) regales me with the story –step-by-step, play-by-play, including hand gestures and animated dance moves—of how she won $2.4 million at the slots at the Borgata hotel in Atlantic City on April 3, 2004, the day before Palm Sunday. I am, needless to say, mesmerized. Jennifer starts to carry a large pitcher of chilled lemonade and a plate of cookies outside to a table by the pool, but I opt instead for the quiet, air conditioned, wood-paneled, book-lined study. For the next three hours we will talk. And talk. About life, romance, marriage, misconceptions, work, money, and success.
Jennifer Lopez is a complex woman. She has been a wife (three times now), and is a mother, actress, singer, dancer, television personality, fashion designer, mogul—a brand. Her eight albums and numerous hit singles have sold a combined total of 55 million copies. Her latest dance hit, “On the Floor,” has generated three million digital downloads. She’s starred in some great movies: Selena, Out of Sight with George Clooney, and the underrated and overlooked El Cantante, about the life of salsa legend Hector Lavoe, in which she co-starred with Marc Anthony. She’s also starred in a bunch of romantic comedies : among them, Maid in Manhattan, The Back-up Plan, and The Wedding Planner, which went to No. 1 at the box office in 2001, the same week her album J.Lo went to No. 1. She’s been through a lot without ever having a meltdown. But that’s not to say her life hasn’t had its share of chaos and drama. Especially in the romance department. I mention that she seems to have made some bad choices in men. She says she doesn’t really like to “re-hash” old relationships. But I suggest that it’s important to understand her past in order to grasp her present life, her current state of mind.
She tells me she’s always been in love with love, and that all of the men in her life pursued her. “And pursued me in such a voracious way,” she says, “that I think, Oh my God, nobody has ever loved me like this. That’s how hard they go.” She has always been very trusting, even to the point where, she says, when she was in her 20s and 30s, she had no clue if a man was cheating on her, or if he had other problems that affected their relationship. For example, Sean “Puffy” Combs (years before he starting changing his named), with whom she was romantically involved for two years, from 1998 to 2000. She says he loved being in the clubs, he had a great ear for music, he was a great A&R man. Early on, when Puffy asked her to be in one of his videos, they were on the set and, she says, he looked at her and said, “’I’m in love with you.’ I was like, This guy is crazy. I said, ‘You don’t even know me.’ I kept him at a distance, but then he kept calling me and I guess it was exciting at the beginning. He was from New York, I was from New York, we just kind of spoke the same language, and we both had a love of music. He sort of mentored me and was very sweet in the beginning. About a year later [after her 11-month marriage to her first husband, Ojani Noa, was over], when we got together, he was with me all the time.” What about all those rumors of his cheating? She is silent for a minute. “Well, I never knew if he was unfaithful,” she says. “I mean, he was with me all the time and he was working like a maniac. There didn’t seem to be time [for cheating].” I say that if a man has 15 minutes….We laugh. She says, “But I was very naïve. My upbringing was strict. It was a family full of girls, and it was like ‘Nobody smokes, nobody drinks, and nobody opens their legs.’” (Except for the occasional celebratory glass of champagne, she still doesn’t drink, and is one of the few in show business who has never taken drugs.) Her relationship with Puffy deteriorated after a December 1999 scenario in a nightclub with a gun and a car chase that ended up in a police station and a weapons possession-and-bribery trial in which Puffy was acquitted. The tabloids had a field day. “It wasn’t a great time in my life,” Jennifer says. “It was scary. And we broke up many times before that, and got back together and broke up again, and nobody knew about it. It was very tempestuous. Towards the end it was emotionally exhausting. It was good that I was young.”
After that, she segued into her 10-month second marriage, to dancer Cris Judd. “I think when you come out of something that was [so] intense,” she says, “you kind of just want a security blanket and cover yourself completely. I take total responsibility for that not being the right thing at that time.” And then: Bennifer. It’s hard to realize now, but before Brangelina and Tomkat, the merging of Jennifer’s and Ben Affleck’s names during their romance was the first of that sort of tabloid branding. Again, she says, he pursued her. He wrote her letters. It was very romantic. They co-starred in the universally panned 2003 film Gigli (frankly, it wasn’t that bad). She wrote a song professing her love for him titled “Dear Ben.” He was interesting, she says, what with all that Boston intellect and political concern. He spoke Spanish and seemed “down to earth.” (The fact that she, a native New Yorker whose father, David, was a die-hard Mets fan, had to be dragged to those Boston Red Sox games is another matter.) They kissed in public and appeared together in a music video that glorified a jet-set, over-the-top image: on a yacht, in an expensive car, she wearing furs and such. But, she says, there was genuine love there. And then there wasn’t. When they broke off their engagement, in 2004, she was “heartbroken,” because she thought she had found someone who had his act together, and “I had a lot of hopes and dreams on it.” She says, however, that she did not keep that lavish, $1.2 million pink diamond engagement ring, despite singing she “kept the ring” in her recent song “One Love.” She says, “It was a joke. We have to take some poetic license for lyrics. It was more cool to say in the song that I kept it; it sang better.”
All of this quickly led to her surprise marriage in June 2004 to Marc Anthony—just days after his divorce was final from Dayanara Torres, a former Miss Universe and the mother of two of his children. Anthony, a five-time Grammy winner, had been Jennifer’s friend, and a former fling. In 2009 there were rumors that Jennifer and Marc were headed for divorce when Jennifer appeared at the Golden Globes without her wedding ring; but they renewed their vows two times since their 2004 nuptials. I ask her what marriage to Marc had brought to her life. “So many things,” she says, adding that of all the people in the world, she always knew that if she called him from Siberia in the middle of the night and needed him, he’d be there. “I knew that he loved and cared about me that much. [It] was like the world stopped when it came to me.” And, she adds, “he’s Puerto Rican, I’m Puerto Rican, we both grew up in New York-me in the Bronx, and Marc in East Harlem, where my mother grew up.” (They both are proud of their heritage; they had newly named Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor to their Long Island house for dinner.) Then, Jennifer adds, “Marc made me feel safe.” Safe?, I ask. Was this another “security blanket” after a tempestuous relationship? She is silent for a minute. “Is safe good for a marriage…,” she says. “I think it’s one of the biggest compliments you can give; like you want to feel safe. I’m good here. Unsafe would be bad for me. And over the course of our marriage, there [were] times when I felt the most happiness I ever felt in my life. I always dreamed of having a family, and still being vibrant in my career, and having a partner who did his own things, and doing things together. Making each other bigger. It fulfilled some of my dreams.” When I ask her how they balance their busy work life, their children, and their marriage, she says, “We try, we try. [But] it’s getting increasingly harder. When we were [first] married, most of the time, and even before the babies were born, we were able to go everywhere together. I wasn’t working as much. So we kind of had that. I went on tour with him a few times in the first few years of our marriage, and we did a film [El Cantante] together.” But, she added, “it’s hard, and we’re figuring it out. It’s tough. And…everything is ramping up in a way. Like I said, we had the first three years of our marriage just for us. I wasn’t working, it was really mainly about him. Then we got pregnant. Then it became about the kids. And then I started working again.”
The day before my visit to her house, I watched Jennifer at work on a street in Los Feliz, near Dodger Stadium, where Ron Howard was directing a public-service announcement for the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. Jennifer was part of a cast that included Denzel Washington, Magic Johnson, Shaquille O’Neal, Kerry Washington, Smokey Robinson, Edward James Olmos, and snowboarder Shaun White, among others. They did take after take in the heat, on the steps of the Dorris Place Elementary School, where, teacher Elaine Shikuma told me, Marilyn Monroe went to kindergarten. Jennifer wore a skintight black-and-white Lanvin dress that showed off her famous curves, she purchased it for herself during a two-week tour of Europe where she promoted “On the Floor.” She’s just returned from that trek, and though she is exhausted and jet-lagged, she’s in full J.Lo workaholic superstar mode. During breaks, she sits on a canvas chair getting makeup touch-ups and texting on her BlackBerry. She’s in the midst of firming up a major fashion-and-lifestyle licensing deal with Kohl’s. She’ll go back into the studio soon to record some extra tracks for her greatest-hits CD, out sometime in 2012. Two movies are in the works: What to Expect When You’re Expecting, with Cameron Diaz, and Parker, to be directed by Taylor Hackford. There are also endorsements: L’Oreal Paris, Venus Gillette, Tous Jewelry, and her 17 different Coty perfumes – which she and her manager Benny Medina call “juice.” That “juice” has generated $1 billion since 2002. And she still has yet to decide whether or not she’ll return to American Idol as a judge next year.
When I tell her I heard a rumor that she was asking for $35 million to return to Idol, she laughs. “That’s crazy. We haven’t even negotiated yet. Where do they get this stuff?” But Jennifer has always been the subject of rumors, especially the “diva” kind. That she demands white sheets draped on the walls of dressing rooms and hotel suites. That she insists on white candles and masses of white flowers everywhere. Sometimes these demands have been attribute to Benny Medina, who—in addition to being her manager and the godfather of her twins—has a bit of a diva reputation himself. (The next day, at her house, she will address the “diva” rumors: “Benny always made sure things were nice for me because we were working like maniacs. And I don’t fault him for that. And by the way, he didn’t get faulted, I did. But every other star does the same thing.” So why did she get one of the worst wraps ever for this? “Maybe because I was successful, I was a woman, I don’t know. But I don’t put on a lot of airs. I work very hard. Being a diva or materialistic is a false perception. I’m not that. I just love surrounding myself with beautiful things. Did that have the potential to come off as egotistical or decadent? Maybe. But the intention always was to inspire.”)
Jennifer was brought up in the Castle Hill section of the Bronx and went to a Catholic girl’s school. She used to dance in front of the mirror and put on little shows at home with her two sisters. She became so obsessed with dancing that she fled to Manhattan at 18—against her mother’s wishes—to study dance. She occasionally slept in the dance studio at Broadway and 50th Street. She got a job as a “Fly Girl,” dancing on In Living Color, then auditioned with “thousands of other girls” and won the starring role in the movie Selena, about the slain Tejano singer. Despite her strict upbringing, Jennifer realized she was sexy, and she embraced it. After all, hardly anyone remembers who won the Grammy in 2000, but everyone remembers that green print Versace dress she wore onstage at Staples Center when she presented an award. The dress with the neckline down to there, held on with double-sided tape. “I never had a problem with being sexy,” Jennifer tells me, “and that dress…well, I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It had sleeves down to there…O.K., so it had a plunging neckline, big deal.”
Jennifer tells me she prefers living in L.A.—as opposed to Marc, who will tell me later that he prefers New York, where he has a house on Long Island. (They also have an apartment in Miami, where Marc is a minority owner of the Miami Dolphins.) But Jennifer says she wants her children to go to school in New York, “because I liked my upbringing there and it gave me incentive. Just the street smarts and the savvy.” She refers to Emme as “an angel from heaven,” and says Max is “hilarious.” She employed nannies for a while, but “it wasn’t for me.” So now she has only family to help with the kids—her mother, her cousin Tiana Rios, and her best friend from childhood, Arlene Rodriguez. She doesn’t want to be away from the twins for more than 24 hours (she took them with her on her European promo tour). She says she absolutely did not have fertility treatments: “Twins run in my family.” She says she has had no plastic surgery; she leans her face right into mine and asks, “Want to check? Look close.” Then she adds, “But I don’t know how I’ll feel about it when I’m 50.” She says that her mother always taught her and her two sisters to be confident, not to diet, and to be comfortable with their bodies. “When I first got to Hollywood it was like everyone was a size 0 to 4, and I was an 8. These days I’m more of a 6 [she did a triathlon six months after the twins were born]. But I never really thought about my looks until [I was] faced with [my] image and people were talking about it. In the beginning, it was always more about just being a good actress.”
When I ask Jennifer what she considers her greatest talent, she says, “I think I’m a really great performer. I think I’m a really great actress. I feel confident in those things—that’s a better way to say it. I’m not as gifted a vocalist as some of the girls that are out there, but I know I communicate. When I think of great vocalists, I think of Marc, of Luther Vandross, of Whitney Houston. But Marc has helped me a lot with this; he always said I had a beautiful voice and that it was better than I thought it was.” Antonio “L.A.” Reid (now the head of Epic Records), who, as chairman of Island Def Jam, signed Jennifer in March 2010, when her career was on the decline, says, “I am such a fan of Jennifer Lopez. I think she’s the Sophia Loren of our generation. There was a time in the record industry when this was considered the singing business. But it is no longer just the singing business; we’re in the entertainment business, and it’s the total package. Jennifer’s songs and performances are believable. Also, she is such a sweetheart, such a joy to work with.” And, he added, “American Idol was an amazing platform for her.”
Ah, yes, American Idol. That 10-year-old reality-TV singing competition where “America” gets to vote on the “best” singer after weeks of auditions with the deluded, the crazy, and the occasionally talented contestants. For years, Idol featured such judges as the fun, loopy Paula Abdul, and the bitchy and usually correct Simon Cowell. Then the show starting throwing in other judges, and Simon decided to leave. This past year, Idol took a risk: inviting Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler and (less of a risk) Jennifer Lopez to join original judge Randy Jackson. There can be no question that Jennifer Lopez’s recent career resurgence had a lot to do with her delightful demeanor in front of 25 million people weekly on last season’s show. It’s a matter of opinion as to whether Idol helped her more than she (and Tyler) helped the show come back to life (the ratings were up 21 percent for this year’s season finale), but it was a pretty even exchange. “America” got to see her warmth, her emotions (she cried when some contestants got voted off), and her savvy, Steven Tyler, who had never watched the show before, had his doubts about doing it, and it was criticized by rockers, including members of his own band (guitarist Joe Perry compared the show to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). But it worked out fantastically well for him too. Steven, whom I’ve known since the mid-1970s, told me, “I had heard rumors that Jennifer was in the loop, and I thought if she did it, I’d do it. She’s an alpha female; she’s motherly, street, nurturing, and she tells it like it is. When a woman in that strong, she can’t be denied. She wasn’t shocked by me, and she got me to be more real.”
Doug Morris, now the C.E.O. of Sony Music, says, “Jennifer is a very lovely, soulful woman, and she’s even more beautiful now than when she was young. She just has such a beautiful persona.” The winner of this year’s Idol, 17-year-old Scotty McCreery—whose mature country voice sounds like Johnny Cash or George Strait—tells me, “Jennifer was just wonderful. She was always giving us hugs; she was just someone you could always go to for support.” The Miami rapper Pitbull, who’s on Jennifer’s hit single “On the Floor” and performed it live with her on Idol, says, “I learned so much from her, and she’s opened so many doors for people.” And Idol creator Simon Fuller, who’s managed the Spice Girls, the Beckhams, and the extraordinary singer Annie Lennox for years, said, “Jennifer was always my first choice [for a judge this year]. I just always thought she’d be fantastic on television. And obviously, it all worked out better than anybody probably could have imagined.” (Fuller, a huge Latin-music fan, was so thrilled with her that he formed a partnership with Jennifer and Marc to produce the talent competition Q’ Viva: The Chosen. Plans were for the couple to be filmed traveling, discovering, showcasing, and broadcasting the best Latin talent. Now the future of this project is unclear.)
And then there is the subject of money. The deal she and Marc made with Kohl’s is supposedly unprecedented for celebrity licensing: a 21-year deal, with three renewal options, to oversee clothing and “lifestyle” stuff—like sheets and towels. (Kohl’s has announced the lines will continue.) According to Benny Medina, the guarantees could be between $7 and $10 million a year. I tell Jennifer that her net worth is reported to be $250 million, but like most celebrities and unlike some rappers, she doesn’t like to discuss money. “I think it’s tacky,” she says, “and I really don’t know how much—I don’t count.” What she seems most thrilled about is that—as she’s just learned—she’s getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2012. “It’s like all that hard work and now something permanent is going to be there. I made my mark.”
I tell her that because of Idol, so many people saw a side of her they hadn’t seen before. “I honestly thought people knew that I was a good person and a hard worker,” she says, “even though there was all this tabloid, diva stuff about me. I thought they already knew me from being in the public eye for so long. But I guess they really didn’t. Reality television really shows you for who you are. And I loved it in the beginning, it was the best thing ever. So much fun, the easiest job. Then by the last few weeks I just got tired. I had never done live TV, I was very attached [to the show]. And by Fridays, I’d be knocked out. It’s almost like a fighter after a fight; do you want to go back in and fight again? I’m honestly on the fence about it. I know it’s a great thing, but I really have to think—am I going to be happy? Is this going to take me away from a film I want to do? Or a tour? In the end, I [always] just go with my gut.”
As we talk more that day, I sense that she is grappling with something, and it’s not just the decision about returning to Idol—which I’m fairly certain she’ll do again. We talk more about marriage. “Marriage is tough,” she says. “It’s not going to be perfect and it’s not going to be awful if you’re going to stay in it….It’s definitely challenging.” I ask her if she and Marc fight. She says they do: “About everything. We’re spicy.” When I ask her who really runs the show, she says, “I think you both need to run the show sometimes. It has to be a balance, or else it just gets boring. Sometimes I need to be in charge, sometimes he needs to be in charge. It’s a partnership.” She’s thoughtful for a minute. “Things just happen, and you’re in the middle of it and you just try to navigate your way through it being a good person. Doing the best you can. Trying to learn from the ups and downs. You find you learn a lot more from the downs. When it comes to love and relationships, what I’ve learned now is that the most important relationship is with myself. And it took me a long time to get to that place. But I finally feel that I understand that. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault,” she says, “but I couldn’t be right in any relationship until I got more in touch with who I was, and what I needed and what I wanted. And getting to that place for me has been the real journey, the real task, where I realize that the main relationship I needed to have and the real love had to be with myself.”
We talk about “choosing men badly” and she says, “I wasn’t in touch with who I was, what I wanted, what I deserved, what I needed. It was more about the other person for me, and that’s where I made my mistakes. It wasn’t even their fault, it was me. I needed to get to where I could say I know what I want, I know what I need, I can’t let you do this, I can’t let this happen, I can’t let that happen. Even when I felt bad about myself,” she continues, “I always tried to keep in mind—I’m worth more than this, I’m better than this, I’m doing something that is not right for myself. You deserve better, all the things you tell yourself to get through a tough time.”
At this point, Marc comes home for a break between taping Lopez Tonight and returning to the studio to finish scoring the music for Hawthorne. Jennifer, who says interior decorating is her “passion” and is immensely proud of their house, takes me on a tour. There are nine bedrooms—plenty of room for family (they had 23 people at Christmas). The living room—which she admits they rarely use—has white sofas, a white baby-grand piano, and a white toy piano for the kids. There are dark wood floors, billowing gray silk draperies, and framed photos of their wedding. In the guest bathroom, paper hand towels are monogrammed with an “M” for Muniz, Marc’s—and the twins’—real last name. There’s a fireplace in the dining room and a table that seats 10. Upstairs framed photos line the walls: Marlon Brando, Elvis Presley, Jayne Mansfield, Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner. Jennifer loves old Hollywood glamour, and she loves swing music, which plays over the sound system in the house. Marc accompanies us as Jennifer shows me the room he had done for her as a surprise for their anniversary while she was away in Europe. She calls it the “spa” room—because there are two massage tables with glittery pillows. But it’s a huge closet too, with a massive full-length mirror and alcoves that hold many, many gowns and rows of her color-coordinated shoes. Marc seems uncomfortable; he’s concerned that this appears ostentatious. But I note it’s really just some of the tangible artifacts of all that hard work. “The fun part of the entertainment business for me is the fantasy,” Jennifer says. “The fairy tale and the magic. I haven’t lost touch with the little girl in me. I love fancy, frilly, and sparkly things. It’s part of being a girl.”
On the other side of the house is what Jennifer refers to as “Marc’s area”: a bar, recording studio, mini-putting green, and a 20-seat screening room. Their framed gold and platinum records are on the walls. Marc and I sit alone in the recording studio. He lights up a cigarette and tells me he doesn’t have a lot of time to talk. He says he’s always been in love with Jennifer. They first met when she took her father to see him on Broadway in The Capeman on Father’s Day, 1998. “I had never met her,” he says. “I’d heard she was a fan of mine, and she walked into my dressing room and I said the worst opening line ever. I don’t know what came over me, but I said, ‘You’re my wife and you don’t even know it.’ And she said, ‘Excuse me?’ And I’m like, ‘I’m so sorry, I don’t know where the fuck that came from.’” He says he felt that their relationship was destined, but I ask, what specifically has she brought to his life? “Beating the shit out of me all the time,” he laughs. “No, seriously, she’s taught me discipline.” Was he flaky? “No….I was just a musician’s musician, you know what I mean? And now I get up at six in the morning, film Hawthorne, score the show, and I make my meeting.” Does he feel that Jennifer works too hard? “She could enjoy life a little more,” he admits. “I mean, there are only a certain amount of hours in every day.” But, he says, “we know each other, we know when we can’t tolerate each other, and we each have that sounding board [in each other]. She’s harsh with her criticism sometimes, but it’s just because she wants me to be the best I can be. I will always be there for her. It’ a very, very dynamic life. I’m taxing myself and pushing myself to the limit, work-wise. But I’ve been face with the phone not ringing, and that’s not fun. I’d rather this.”
July 9, 2011: For some, the first public sign of recent trouble was when Jennifer appeared without Marc at the BAFTA “Brits to Watch” gala at the Belasco Theater, in Los Angeles. She wore a green cut-out Pucci gown and took her mother with her to meet Prince William and Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge. But a few days earlier Jennifer had sent me an e-mail that clearly contained a message. She was following up on a few things I had asked her to clarify. What, exactly, had prompted those “revelations” that in order to love properly she had to love herself first? “I’m a hopeless romantic and passionate person when it comes to love,” she wrote. “[And] it’ not that I didn’t love myself before. Sometimes we don’t realize that we’re compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself—If I stay, then I’m not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now.
“As women,” she continued, “we are naturally giving and we take care of others. I love that part of us and I love doing it. We just have this tendency to put ourselves on the back burner. But we need to be conscious about loving and taking care of ourselves too….The babies had something to do with this. Because when you feel that love for the first time, it’s so selfless and pure that it makes you question…all the ways you acted and were treated…I’m on a journey of discovering me. So I can teach my babies to do the same thing. So they are always O.K., with or without someone.”
July 20, 2011: I reach Jennifer in Atlanta, where she is filming What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Since the July 15 statement, she has made no public comment about the end of her marriage. I ask her: What happened? “This was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to face,” she says. “I really wanted this family to work. That was my biggest dream, and I worked hard at it. We both did. Sometimes it doesn’t work—and that’s sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love, I believe in love, as I told you. It’s still my biggest dream. I am positive—determined to move forward with my life, bring up my babies, and do the best job I can as a mother, entertainer, and person. I now look forward to new challenges. I feel strong.
“I spoke to you about wanting to teach Max and Emme certain things,” she continues. “For the first time in my life, I can truly say I am loving myself, I am doing loving things for myself. As devastating and heartbreaking as this all has been, this was an important journey for me—necessary and life-changing. Because you can’t teach something you don’t know completely.”
As for her feelings about Marc, she tells me, “I will always respect Marc as a singer and performer. We actually work great together, and he was always very supportive. Together we could make magic—and we did. He will always be in our lives. He will always hold a special place in my heart as the father of my children. And out of respect of our family, I will keep private the details of our personal life.”
When we first spoke, I had asked Jennifer why there was a question mark on the title of her new album, LOVE? “I don’t claim to have the answers,” she told me. “I just want to put the questions out there.” On that album, there is a song called “Starting Over.” It appears that once again, when it comes to love, Jennifer Lopez is starting over.